The Dilemma: See No Evil Hear No Evil

My client recently contacted me regarding issues she was having around child visitation.  The non-custodial parent adamantly refused to utter one word about the child during the pick up and drop off at visitation time. My client was concerned because the child had been ill, and the client wanted information as to how the baby (now ten months old) did on her medication, and an update on her health status. The non-custodial parent would not budge.
She called me for advice.

Sadly, I had no magic.

Tragically, some parents are born without the super-parent gene. In theory, they get the concept of "best interests of the child," and totally agree with its sentiment. But sometimes, the concept breaks down in its execution by us mere mortals.

The unfortunate truth is that often times one person will have stronger skills as a good communicator and as a parent. Temper tantrums do not always dry up as soon as a person becomes a mother or father. Characteristics that seemed almost unnoticeable prior to the birth of a baby can appear to be exacerbated after a child is born. Even more patience, more understanding, and more tolerance may be needed once a new member of the family arrives.

There are many options that can be considered on a legal basis. However, it does not mean that every option should be considered, and every option may not be in the best interest of the child. Although mom and dad may not agree with each others parenting techniques, it is often possible to have them agree to actions that really serve the interest of the minor child, however unpalatable the action may be to one or the other parents.

I recommend that you get a sounding board, someone you can vent to over the inevitible frustrations that will arise in the course of raising a child with a non-custodial parent. Little irritations and aggravations are going to happen. If you resolve in advance to meet these challenges with fortitude and acceptance, you will contribute positively not only to your child's emotional health, but also to your own.